Dr. Jim Dincalci How to Forgive When You Can't

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Latest Discoveries

Modern research in medicine, sociology, and psychology, along with the history of spiritual traditions, has shown quite clearly that forgiving transforms people—not only spiritually, but also emotionally and even physically. Fascinating research has emerged in the past 10 years that documents the healing power of forgiveness. In his bestselling book Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness (Harper San Francisco, 2002), Dr. Fred Luskin writes, "In careful scientific studies, forgiveness training has been shown to:
* reduce depression
* increase hopefulness
* decrease anger
* improve spiritual connection
* increase emotional self-confidence
* help heal relationships"

Dr. Luskin adds, "Learning to forgive is good for both your mental and physical well-being and your relationships."

Forgiveness: A Miracle or a Curse?

If this were a new medicine, it would be claimed as being miraculous. It is! Unfortunately, forgiveness transformations can't be achieved simply by taking a pill. Forgiveness goes against the primitive reactions of the brain/mind and the very grain of our culture. Forgiveness has been maligned, mis-defined, misunderstood, mislabeled, and misapplied for centuries. Thus, its power to bring peace and joy back into people's lives has been terribly neglected. And so, we have atrocities occurring everyday around the world in the name of resentment and hate. This need not be.

The Best-kept Secret

In a San Jose Mercury article, Dr. Carl Thoresen, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at Stanford University and original lead researcher for the Stanford Forgiveness Project, called forgiveness "one of the best-kept secrets." In the same article, he stated, "We have come across very few people who understand what forgiveness is and how it works."

This is changing. With the insight into the mind that we have gained in the past 25 years, we can now get past the parts of the brain that prevent forgiveness. Researchers, doctors, psychologists, therapists, and educators all over the world have documented the power of forgiving and how to do it effectively. Numerous methods are now available to help people learn how to forgive.

The Timing of Forgiveness

No one can force another to forgive. People have their own timing in forgiving. In fact, there are phases of forgiveness. Only when a person is ready to regain joy, love, and peace in his or her life can he or she truly begin the process. Peace will come when people change their lives through forgiving others, having their own offenses forgiven, and by passing on, in word and in deed, what they have learned.

The Forgiveness Foundation exists to forward this process.

Our Calling

Our vision is to increase peace and kindness in the world by helping people forgive. We then assist them in helping friends, neighbors, coworkers, and members of their communities learn to forgive by providing workshops, seminars, books, inspiration, promotional material, and courses on how to forgive.

The Obstacles to Peace

It is vital that we use the powerful tool of forgiveness today to defuse resentments, hate, and the desire for vengeance - the obstacles to peace. These obstacles can be undone right now in our own lives, communities, and workplaces. We have the tools to help relieve the pain of unforgiveness, betrayal, guilt, and resentment.

Your Part

With your help, The Forgiveness Foundation can be instrumental in disseminating this information around the world, not only as a vehicle for hope, but also for one of change. Our hope is that all people will finally join together in an effort to increase peace and kindness throughout the world.

Together we can help people to let go of their hate, resentments, or grudges, as well as their desires for vengeance. Please join us and support this work.

Your Input

Commit to forgiving and supporting others in letting go of resentments, hatreds, and cries for vengeance. Forgiveness can make the difference between war and peace in our own lives and in the world. Please stand with us to change harmful attitudes in the world.

Learn effective ways of forgiving. Set up events to share it with others. If you know of someone whom you think may be interested in this project, please forward the link to this page to him or her. In addition, at this time please consider making a financial contribution to this work.

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