Dr. Jim Dincalci How to Forgive When You Can't

Success Stories

Praise from Class Participants

Praise from Professionals

Praise about Dr. Dincalci


Praise from Class Participants

Read what people who have taken Dr. Dincalci’s classes and workshops have said about the Power Forgiveness Process and the exercises included in his new book, How to Forgive When You Can’t.

A tremendous help. I feel like this set a foundation—the rest is up to me. Defined what forgiveness was and perhaps more importantly what it wasn’t. It showed me how to go about the process. - Danette Ellsworth

I didn’t know what questions to ask to analyze my situations. Now I have a roadmap. I not only learned a process for forgiving, I forgave. - Evan Lloyd

This is very important work! I wish everyone could have on-going forgiveness training. The world would be a much more fun place to be. Most significant for me was doing the exercises where you step out of your story and into reality where you can begin to feel the truth of the situation. It was great! - Christen Connors

I learned a lot about myself and how to improve my life. I learned that by forgiving someone I could replace my negative feelings with feelings of love and gratitude. - Susan Herring

It gave me a “how to” process to break down an overwhelming issue with many angles to a manageable level. What particularly worked was viewing my contributions to issues and taking responsibility for my part. Thank you. - M. Rolewei

It gave me the tools to forgive. Not to mention it really put the processes of how to forgive in “layman’s terms” so that I can explain and discuss forgiveness easily with others. Most significant was the realization that I held some myths about forgiveness. I learned how to redefine forgiveness so that I could feel better about it. What worked was the focus on forgiveness of myself. - Laura Lutz

It has brought much more clarity, helped me break through confusion, enabled a flow of emotions and uncovered how I have perpetuated the problem. Helped me uncover more of my responsibility and move toward ending my cycle of disempowerment. - Dana Ames

I certainly have taken to heart how vital it is to forgive in order to be fully alive. I especially liked learning about the lower/higher brain material, especially since I work in healthcare. This needs to be shared in our community, schools, etc. - Olga Senyk, RN

Forgiveness is a valuable tool that enables one to empower themselves to grow. It is not a crutch to hide weakness. - Rick Dwyer

Helped me to appreciate that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person and what they do and don’t do. But it has all to do with your own well-being. Really, forgiveness is a win-win situation. I especially appreciated that forgiveness is often an undeserved gift—one we want extended to us, so it’s really a great circle. Helped me to see that need to work on my own self-forgiveness. It was very practical. I’ve always thought myself to be a rather forgiving person. But even holding onto just one or two resentments can alter your life to the negative and bitter. How much better to just let go! - Debra Peterson

The part about self-forgiveness was valuable, especially in a culture that values selfishness, yet not self forgiveness. Just allowing forgiveness into life and events is positive. Forgiveness is a missing-link in social evolution, via the individual heart. - Kit Lofroos

Added new perspectives on what forgiveness is, and more importantly for myself, what it isn’t, allowing me to move through it easier. - James Bourke

Helped me to articulate a process that has been largely intuitive and to uncover subtle ways in which I was still unforgiving. The educational part was significant as it gave the principle prerequisites to forgiving and questions to ask myself. It provided me with the information and model I need to begin doing forgiveness workshops. - Deborah Stinsman

It helped me identify rules that I have been working under which might no longer be helpful. It also helped me identify rules that my friend uses. I learned that forgiveness was for myself and not the other person. I also now understand the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Understanding that a stressed person tends to react from their reptilian brain has allowed me to forgive myself in one area of my life. - Cheryl Beeson

I was able to see more options to try, to look at the situation from many more perspectives from the suggestions in the handouts and from the stories told. Most significant for me was the suggestion of Power Forgiveness—to forgive every situation and person in my life so far that I hold any hostility or resentment for. I saw that whatever I hold against anyone else I am also doing to myself—since I believe and experience that whatever I do or give to others comes back to me. - Kathleen Andre

The process—in particular the exercises—was remarkably effective in helping me get to a genuine compassion and empathy for those who have hurt me. From compassion, forgiveness seemed easier. The most significant part was the journal process. I was surprised at how interconnected my relationships are with my relationship with myself; that all forgiveness is self-forgiveness. The process is much faster than I had thought possible. The surprising thing for me was that everything leads to and proceeds from self-forgiveness. - Cate Griffiths

It gave me tools. Forgiving your mate is the most difficult area, I feel. These techniques give hope when feeling stuck. - Elaine Bihn-kley

This work feels like the missing piece of the puzzle for deeper love, joy and peace. Never ever having done forgiveness work, my overall response was excitement. Empowering new tools. - Ren Nelson

Most significant were the insights that occurred as a result of the material presented, especially my active part in the circumstances needing forgiveness. It gave me specific tools for guiding my own process of forgiveness—excellent accommodation of content to meet any situation. - Deb Klass, RN PhD.

Thank you so much. What a gift. I didn’t realize before how all of my unforgiven issues from the present were interwoven with instances and values from my distant past. I realized that things I had thought I had forgiveness were not. The exercises gave me insight and provided a relief. - Lisa Bernard

This work got me through four major forgivenesses of my life. It has felt cathartic and freeing. It is almost a bonus that I have been given good teaching materials to help guide others through the forgiveness process. – V.B.

Meaningful and helpful, intense and enlightening! Emphasis on self-forgiveness is a great enlightenment on improving our society. - Elizabeth Bakewell

Excellent! Very complete. It helped me by giving clinical and scientific validation for forgiveness, helpful resources, and engendered confidence in the effectiveness and validity of forgiveness. - Howard Deforte

It brought a greater awareness as to how to forgive the effects and shone a light on some very useful tools to be able to forgive when stuck. I feel more confident that I will be able to utilize those tools in my personal life as well as my professional life. Looking at earlier situations had the most unexpected profound effect on my ability to look at a current situation and forgive it as well as the past situation with its unresolved residuals. - Anna Levinger

The processes offered were relevant and powerful. I have gained a sense of peace around my issue and the person involved now passes freely through my heart and mind. I now have the information to help. – C.S.

Extremely helpful information framed in a useful way. Every process gave me insight. Writing particularly worked for me. You can think about the situation all you want, but writing out the answers to the questions holds you accountable, and being real to the situation and resolution. - Jauny Martin

Thank you for helping us all become heroes of our own lives. This work helped me to see things in other ways, and gave me tools to use in my relationships that I know will help and will also be helpful in the grief process I am going through at present. - Debbi Berto

I have worked through a very difficult close relationship during this. In that process I have learned a great deal about myself, and have progressed in self-forgiveness and acceptance. I feel at peace about being in touch with the person. - Sally Lobb, December 2004

I am thrilled that a life-long issue has left my energy and patterning during this work. Being able to work through an issue from childhood so quickly (after years of various other tools) was a thrill. It was the last piece of years of work. This work helped to clarify and expand my own personal growth. Thank you for new tools and a new way to look at forgiveness and situations where forgiveness is needed. It’s helped pull back a couple of more layers to reveal yet another deeper place to grow into. - Trice Bonney

I highly recommend this (work). It has allowed me to see how resentment and anger impact every aspect of my life. By learning how to work through my issues, I feel hopeful and rejuvenated. The Principles of Forgiveness are a blueprint for self-acceptance and compassion, and are wonderful intervention tools for clinicians. - Suzette Dotson

From attendees of Dr. Dincalci’s 5- or 8-hour Forgiveness Workshops:

The workshop was very positive and enlightening. The most significant part was understanding the link between our day-to-day frustrations and the Divine Intervention to help us find peace and forgiveness. The workshop allowed me to open my heart and examine issues of long-standing difficulty, and then release the issues with a sense of peace. This was my goal. - C.O. -California 

The workshop gave me some deep insights and was very helpful to me. The forgiveness process is one I can use in my own life on an ongoing basis. The workshop was well received. Jim’s wisdom and gentle strength are powerful medicine. - M.T. - California 

A week after a month-long class of two hours a week:

I sincerely wanted to say Mahalo (thank you) most earnestly as (Un)Forgiveness is what has had me imprisoned. ...At work, in my home, with my family and loved ones…this one trait has always fouled them. I just want you to take it to heart what a transformative change this is bringing into my inner and outer life. ...I'll most certainly be keeping you in my prayers for every blessing and bestowal to be yours. Words fail me in my appreciation of this gateway you have opened for me. - Fond greetings, R. -Hawaii

One month after a 5-hour "Basic- How to Forgive" workshop:

Soon after the workshop I had an opportunity to put the knowledge I had gained to practical use…and how it has had an immediate and profound effect on my life. 

My wife and I filed for divorce. The separation was not amicable. Early on it was very contentious and eventually evolved into a cold war with the divorce still not finalized. The past four years have been filled with anger and resentment, as I blamed my ex for my personal situation. Since we rarely spoke to each other I was at a loss as to how to end the stalemate and finalize the divorce.

When I was first invited to attend the Forgiveness Workshop I was skeptical. I was not interested in reconciliation and getting back together with her. I thought this is what the workshop was about, but I was assured it wasn’t.
I had spoken with her just prior to attending the workshop. We agreed to meet the following week to discuss our situation. At that time I had no idea how any kind of settlement could be reached. I envisioned bringing piles of documentation to back up my claims and refute hers. 

When I attended the workshop I had my situation in mind. Through instructor-led discussion and group participation I was able to apply this newfound knowledge to my situation. By the end of the workshop I had felt the shift. I was able to let go of the anger and I saw my ex in a whole new perspective. I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders and I hadn’t yet met with her. 

A week after the workshop we met for lunch. I brought no documentation with me and she left hers in the car. With genuine concern and interest we talked for three hours about our children, our work, our current relationships, and about life. We were able to openly discuss how we could settle our divorce and remain friends. Our meeting ended with tears of joy and hugs. Without any admission of right or wrong, without any apologies, without her attending the workshop nor her knowing that I attended, our stalemate ended and we have become friends. The Forgiveness Workshop showed me how to look within myself and make the change. It’s a wonderful feeling.  
D.M. - California 

What people said about the practical intensive after the basic workshop:

I got what I needed now to move forward in resolving issues in my life...I can release and let go. What worked about this workshop - 1) Organization, 2) Follow Through, 3) Thorough content and 4) Material all worthwhile – Thank you.

I got a lot of information. The PowerPoint presentations were truly wonderful.

The workshop was full of information that I feel is meaningful and helpful. It was well organized and presented in a clear and understanding way.

The presenter was very effective—knowledgeable and experienced on the subject. Had good stories as illustrations of points to be made.

I really liked this class. I feel more peace just taking the class and leave with new understanding in my life.

I not only learned a process for forgiving, I forgave. – E.L.

The processes—in particular, the question-asking process—were remarkably effective in helping me get to a genuine compassion…From compassion, forgiveness seemed easier. The process is much faster than I thought possible. – C.G.

The process that moved the situation the most was the CPR (Communication, Perspective and Responsibility) Questions, but every process did give me insight. Writing (particularly worked). You can think about the situation all you want, but writing out the answers to the questions holds you accountable and brings realness to the situation and resolution. – J.M.

The questions to ask myself and then to write my introspective answers down on paper is very helpful. Journaling my feelings down and the list of each question to ask myself particularly worked. – A.T., Sonoma State University

Working through my several resentments using the CPR tools was powerful. It helped me view the problems totally differently, and although I didn’t finish the work, I already feel a shift. Your questions from the Star of (Empowerment) resonated and helped me work through to some forgiveness. Your examples were enlightening. – J.B.J.

It gave me insight into how to actually take steps to forgive and move forward in my life. The written exercises were most enlightening.

Writing, journaling was very helpful.

Gave me a sense of empowerment and less sense of victimization. By forgiving I can reclaim my personal power and autonomy. The experiential work of going over a specific incident (particularly worked). – E.D.

Writing (answering) my thoughts and doing the steps in the Process for Inner Peace and the CPR (Communication, Perspective and Responsibility) questions particularly worked.

Your guiding questions for Inner Peace I found very useful. – J.W.

The experiential work particularly worked. The workshop exceeded my expectations. – J.T.

Home | About the Book | Table of Content | About the Author | The Forgiveness Foundaion | Why Forgive? | Forgiveness News | Myths on Forgiveness | Forgiving Words of Wisdom
Forgiveness Therapy | Training | Success Stories | Resources | Press Center | Contact | Buy the Book
| Site Map