Dr. Jim Dincalci How to Forgive When You Can't
 
How to Forgive When You Can't

How to Forgive When You Can’t: The Breakthrough Guide to FREE Your Mind and Heart

By Dr. Jim Dincalci

Table of Contents

Section I - Opening to a Different Way   15
Introduction   17
• Stages and Phases of Forgiveness   18
• The Very First Step Is:   18
• The Search for What Works   22
• Facing Deep Trauma   24

Chapter 1 - How It Works 27
• The Best-kept Secret 28
• The Types of Forgiveness 29
• The Forgiveness Battle 31
• The Effects of Trauma and High Stress 31
• Understanding our Reactions 32
• The War of the Brains 34
• Success in Forgiving 38

Chapter 2 - What Forgiving Really Is 42
• How Do You Know You Have Really Forgiven? 45
• Justice and Punishment 47
• Important Points for Effective Forgiving 49
• Always Be Aware Of… 49
• The First Essential Aspect of This Work 50
• The Major Barrier to Forgiving: 52
• Forgiving Broad Issues 54

Chapter 3 - The Blocks to Forgiving 59
• The Myths of Forgiveness 59

Chapter 4 - The Proven Benefits of Forgiving 79
• Research Results 80
• Increased Energy and Uplifted Spirits 82
• Happier Relationships 83
• Positive Results with Children 84
• Dealing with Marriage and New Relationships 84
• Physical Healing 85
• The Real Consequence of Holding on to Upsets 89
• The Seldom Used Act That Brings Big Results: 91
• The Simplest Forgiveness Process 92
• Hope for Humankind 93

Section II - Going Deeper 97
Chapter 5 - Making Sense of Our Thinking 99
• Why Habits Are Hard to Break 100
• How the Brain Works Best 114

Chapter 6 - Breaking Out of Prison 116
• Dealing with Emotional Pain 116
• The Overlooked Aid for Empowering Yourself: 116
• The Deadly Rules, Judgments and Expectations 125

Chapter 7 - Making Forgiving Easier 134
• Find Meaning in Forgiving 134
• Best Strategy in Difficult Situations 136
• A Technique to Make Forgiveness Go Faster: 136
• Getting Needs and Wants Met 138
• The Secret Attitude That Aids Forgiving 139
• Developing Your Power of Decision 140
• The Overlooked Brain Function 143
• Changing Old Thought Habits 145
• The Secrets of Forgiveness Work 150

Chapter 8 - The Power behind Forgiveness Work 152
• The Core of Our Being 152
• Real Healing 156
• How to Empower Yourself and Others 164

Chapter 9 - Working on Upsets 166
• Key questions 170

Section III  - The Truth behind the Resistance 171
Chapter 10 - Forgiving Permanently 173
• How to Keep Our Stressed-Brain Reactions
from Overriding Our Creative Functions 174
• Our Mind’s Defenses that Prevent Forgiving 177
• Making Forgiveness Permanent 180
• Stressed Thinking That Sabotages Forgiving 187

Chapter 11 - Self-Forgiveness and Empowerment 194
• The Keys to Self-Forgiveness 194
• Guilt, Pain and Punishment 194

Chapter 12 - Dealing with Stress and Trauma 207
• Signs of Stress Overload and Exhaustion 210
• Dealing with Family Burnout 214
• What Do Trauma Survivors Need to Know? 216
• Trauma’s Long-Term Consequences – PTSD 218
• Forgiving and PTSD 221
• Compassion Fatigue 222

Section IV - Doing The Work 225
Chapter 13 - Successful Preparations 227
• Review of Secrets & Essentials of Forgiving 230
• The Principles of Power Forgiveness 233
• Preparing for the Process 235

Chapter 14 - The Power Forgiveness Process 238
• Phase 1 - Facing the Unforgiven In Your Life 238
• Phase 2 – Working on an Incident 240
• Taking It Deeper 242
• Phase 3 – Transformation 253

Section V  - After the Process 257
Chapter 15 - Continued Healing 259
• After Deep Change 259
• Release from Emotional Prison 259
• Deeper Meaning 261
• Maintaining Regular Practice 264
• Values and Strengths 268
• In-Depth Tools for the Process of Forgiving 268

Chapter 16 - The Ultimate Result 271
• A Vision for Forgiveness 275

Appendix 279
Notes 294
Bibliography 298
Index 307
Order Form 317

 

 
 
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